It’s Friday The 13th And I Need To Dance!

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In many Western countries, Friday the 13th is considered a day of bad luck by those who believe in such silliness.

In Spanish-speaking countries, Tuesday the 13th is unlucky.

In Italy, Friday the 17th is considered unlucky and 13 is a lucky number.

In Finland, many organizations promote National Accident Day, which always falls on Friday the 13th.

A study in the Netherlands found fewer car accidents occur on Friday the 13th as compared to other Fridays.

The Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute in Asheville, North Carolina estimates that somewhere between 17 and 21 million people in the United States are afraid of Friday the 13th.

At Tunes du Jour we dance every Friday, and we ain’t afraid of no 13th! Let’s kick off this week’s party with “Bad Luck,” by Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes.

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It’s Janet Jackson’s Birthday And I Need To Dance!

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Do you ever feel like you merely exist as opposed to being alive? Does it feel like too much of your time is given to answering to what others want from you, be them your boss or your family, and too little time is given to doing what you want to do the way you want to do it? Do you know that changes are needed but don’t know where to begin?

You need to ask yourself WWJJD? What would Janet Jackson do?

Picture this – Los Angeles. 1982. You’re a 16-year-old girl from a famous family. You release your debut album, cleverly entitled Janet Jackson, with production overseen by your manager/father, Joseph Jackson. It peaks at #63 and goes on to sell fewer than 150,000 units over the next quarter-century. You follow up that album with 1984’s Dream Street. It peaks at #147 and sells fewer than half as many copies as the first album. You didn’t want to do either album but you did them for your father.

You come to a realization – you want to be the one who’s in control of your destiny. You fire your father as your manager. You have your marriage annulled. You work with new producers, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, who collaborate with you on new songs about your newfound independence, from your father, from your ex-husband, and from nasty guys who objectify you and call you Baby when your first name ain’t Baby; it’s Janet.

Your father demands you record your third album in Los Angeles. You record it in Minneapolis. Your father tells a reporter “If Janet listens to me, she’ll be as big as Michael,” referring to Janet’s brother Michael Jackson, not Michael Schoeffling, who portrayed Jake Ryans in the movie Sixteen Candles, and who, with all due respect, isn’t that big. You ignore him. Your father listens to a pre-release copy of the new album and claims it will never sell. You demand it be released.

That album, 1986’s Control, sells over fourteen million copies. It goes to #1 and is nominated for a Grammy Award for Album of the Year.

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Be more like Janet. Take control of your life. Today is Janet Jackson’s 48th birthday. Buy yourself some cake. You deserve it. And enjoy today’s dance playlist, inspired by Miss Jackson.

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This Date In Glenn’s Ten

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In 1980 an Ohio-born performer living in Australia wrote and recorded a song that went on to sell over six million copies. It went to #1 in a dozen or so countries, including Australia, Canada, Germany, France, and the UK, where it reigned on top for three weeks. It has been covered dozens of times in different languages, and that’s not including the many versions of the tune that have been uploaded to YouTube.

The performer is Joe Dolce and the song is “Shaddap You Face,” which was #1 in Glenn’s Ten (the only chart that matters) on this day in 1981.

Glenn's Ten 005Thirty-three years of Glenn’s Ten lists are in these books

My point in telling you this is this – no idea is too stupid. If there is a song you wish to write, a book you wish to publish, an invention you wish to create, go for it! You could be the next Joe Dolce! And if someone tells you your idea sucks, say to them “Ah, shaddup you face.”

Today’s playlist consists of songs that were #1 in Glenn’s Ten on May 8 going back to 1981. The only one missing is 1993’s entry, “Riding on a Rocket” by Shonen Knife, as that is not available on Spotify.

It’s Friday And I Need To Dance!

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This week the dance music community lost one of its trailblazers, DJ/remixer/recording artist Frankie Knuckles, who passed away from diabetes-related complications Monday at age 59. Knuckles was instrumental in popularizing the post-disco genre of house music, so much so that he was nicknamed The Godfather of House.

He started DJing in New York in the 1970s and moved to Chicago by the end of that decade. It was in that city that house was born, named after the club where Frankie presided, The Warehouse. August 24, 2004 was declared Frankie Knuckles Day in Chicago, with the stretch of street that housed the club named Frankie Knuckles Way, an honor that came to be with help from an Illinois state senator named Barack Obama.

Friday is dance day at Tunes du Jour, and today’s playlist includes some of Knuckles’ work mixed among other dance favorites.

It’s Friday And I Need To Dance!

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Every Friday, Tunes du Jour’s playlist is designed to get you dancing into the weekend. Today we kick off with The Spinners’ “The Rubberband Man,” written by the songwriting team of Thom Bell and Linda Creed, as today is Creed’s birthday.

You may not know her name, but chances are you know some of her work. With Bell, she composed several hits for 70s soul group The Stylistics, including “You Make Me Feel Brand New,” “You Are Everything,” “Break Up to Make Up,” “I’m Stone in Love With You,” “Rockin’ Roll Baby” and “Betcha By Golly Wow.” If any readers plan on marrying me, note that I insist the latter be our wedding song.

With Michael Masser, Creed wrote “The Greatest Love of All” for the Muhammad Ali biopic The Greatest. George Benson took the film’s theme song to #24 in 1977. The week of May 17, 1986, Whitney Houston took her remake of the song to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. However, Creed didn’t get to see that. She died one month earlier of breast cancer at age 37.

An Atheist Jew’s Guide To Christmas Music, Part 1

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Raised Jewish, I celebrated Hanukkah. For several years, my family also celebrated Christmas. We didn’t go to midnight mass, we didn’t drink egg nog, we didn’t throw a special type of log in the fireplace. (By the way, I have no idea what makes a Yule log yuley). We put tinsel and candy canes on a large potted plant my mother had in the den and bought each other small but practical gifts. For example, when I was 11 for Christmas my parents got me a salt shaker. The Christmas celebrations stopped after I innocently told Grandpa Mordechai about them. My parents were so angry with me they took away my salt shaker.

Though I no longer celebrate Christmas, I still have a major jones for Christmas music. I own many more Christmas records than any atheist Jew probably should. We’re talking in the hundreds.

I eschew Christmas classics performed by well-known middle-of-the-road acts such as Celine Dion, Michael Bublé, Kenny G (sell-out Jew), Neil Diamond (sell-out Jew) or Barbra Streisand (sell-out Jew). Frank Sinatra shows up only in a duet with Cyndi Lauper and Bing Crosby shows up only in his duet with David Bowie.

Including the Crosby/Bowie version, I have 15 renditions of “The Little Drummer Boy” in my iPod, by a diverse list of artists including Johnny Cash, The Temptations, Joan Jett, Bob Dylan, Iggy Pop and RuPaul.

I have ten versions of “Winter Wonderland,” and that’s not counting the cross-dressing parody “Walkin’ Round in Women’s Underwear,” not performed by RuPaul.

I have “Christmas in Hollis,” “Christmas in Harlem,” “Christmas in Washington,” “Christmastime in the LBC,” “Christmas in the City,” “Christmas in Heaven,” “Christmastime in Hell” and “Christmas at the Zoo.”

I have Christmas songs by most of my favorite artists of all-time, including The Beatles, Prince, Michael Jackson, Madonna, Stevie Wonder, R.E.M., Elvis Presley, The White Stripes, Kanye West, Ike and Tina Turner, Chuck Berry, and Radiohead.

Some Christmas songs aren’t Christmas songs at all. “Frosty the Snowman,” “Let It Snow Let it Snow Let It Snow” and “Winter Wonderland” don’t mention the baby Jesus or Santa Claus or presents or a bullied reindeer with a skin ailment.

Some of the Christmas songs I have are a bit odd. “I Found the Brains of Santa Claus,” a smooth jazz version of “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer,” C3PO and R2D2 singing “Sleigh Ride.” I have Liberace reciting “Twas the Night Before Christmas,” though his version doesn’t hold a candle to Aretha Franklin’s version, in which the Queen of Soul took a few liberties with the words: “A bundle of gifts he had and what did I get? / As I squealed, opening the package, the same old shit!” Her lyrics are downright Disneyesque compared to Snoop Dogg’s reading of the famous poem. If you’re interested, Google the lyrics because I’m not going to print them here.

I have John Denver singing “Please Daddy (Don’t Get Drunk This Christmas).” Verse one opens with a couplet for the arithmetically-challenged: “Just last year when I was only seven / Now I’m almost eight you can see.” Santa needs to bring John some flashcards. The next two lines create a holiday image that is less Norman Rockwell and more John Waters: “You came home at quarter past eleven / And fell down underneath the Christmas tree.” Someone needs to get him to a 12-step group. He can attend a meeting with the title character of Fishbone’s “Slick Nick, You Devil You,” who came down the chimney with a keg of brew and spilled Jack Daniels all over the drapes.

I have Sarah Silverman singing “Give the Jew Girl Toys,” in which she taunts Santa by singing “You have a list / Well, Schindler did to / Liam Neeson played him / Tim Allen played you.”

Then there’s the classic “Fairtytale of New York” by the Pogues and Kirsty MacColl, which evokes the holiday spirit with the line “You scumbag, you maggot / You cheap lousy faggot,” something yelled at me every year by those Salvation Army Santas.

Better still is “Macarena Christmas.” I LOVE “Macarena” and I’m betting you do to though you probably won’t admit it. “Macarena Christmas” celebrates the birth of our lord and savior Baby Macarena by taking the chorus from the hit single and uncleverly inserting it repeatedly into a medley of Christmas songs, so it goes “Joy to the world, the Lord has come / Da le a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena, Que tu cuerpo es pa darle alegria y cosa Buena / Da le a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena / Eeeeeh, Macarena – ay / Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way.” Sound effects of what sounds like an infant with the hiccups are thrown in. It makes no sense, y me gusta mucho.

My favorite holiday album and one of the greatest all-time albums period is Phil Spector’s A Christmas Gift for You, featuring tracks he produced for The Ronettes, The Crystals, Darlene Love and Bob B. Soxx and The Blue Jeans. Every cut on it is classic and can be enjoyed by the whole family, except Grandpa Mordechai.

I Tina

Happy Tina Turner’s Birthday!

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Down the street from my first job in midtown Manhattan was a bookstore that often hosted book signings. There was also a record store one block over that held album/cassette/CD signings. Between these two places I got to meet many great artists, including Prince, Joan Rivers, Liberace and Tipper Gore. I also met Tina Turner, who turns 74 today.

I Tina

My main memory about that meeting was how flawless her skin was. She was 46 and there was not a wrinkle to be found. I’m now older than she was then and my face is devoid of wrinkles, which is why I’m often mistaken for Tina.

Tina-mania was high in 1986. After separating from her abusive husband Ike, she toiled in relative obscurity until her 1984 album Private Dancer put her back on the map in a big way. The album sold around twenty million copies worldwide and earned Tina a Grammy nomination for Album of the Year (alongside three other great albums – Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the U.S.A., Prince & the Revolution’s Purple Rain and Cyndi Lauper’s She’s So Unusual, as well as Lionel Richie’s Can’t Slow Down. Guess who won.), with its single “What’s Love Got to Do With It” winning Record of the Year and Best Pop Vocal Performance, Female and its “Better Be Good To Me” winning Best Rock Vocal Performance, Female. In 1986 she released her best-selling autobiography, I, Tina, and her follow-up to Private Dancer, Break Every Rule, which produced three top forty hits in the U.S.

Enjoy this Tina Turner-inspired playlist.